Hello, 2016

Believe it or not, I am turning 20 this year. I have never felt this way in such a long time. 

I used to think that waiting for someone you love is an ideal declaration of love. But you dont even know what you are waiting for. Are you waiting for a declaration of love? Are you waiting for a sign? Are you waiting for someone to change? Whatever it is that keep you waiting, its not worth it and you should ask yourself again if you are waiting for something that may never happen. 

Waiting for someone means that you are okay with how you are being treated, like you are not important or you dont deserve their time. 

Waiting for someone means that you dont value yourself enough. You should realize that if someone cares about you, they should not keep you waiting or wondering.

Waiting for someone is not a sign of loyalty or strength. Its a sign of denial and you are ignoring what you already know.

Waiting for someone means that you are putting salt on your own cuts and acting like it doesnt burn and hurt. 

You should not set yourself aside for anyone else. Sometimes, patience is a waste of time. If you must wait; wait to be chosen everyday, wait to be reminded that you are special, wait to be loved in the way that you constantly love, wait to be taken seriously and wait for someone who doesnt keep you waiting because you know you deserve better than waiting for someone that to make up their mind.

Rants

First of all, I deleted my old posts which were really embarrassing. So, college. I havent decided yet where I wanna study as I keep getting that question from everyone every single day. But what I am definitely sure is, I am gonna do A levels. Why A Levels? I talked to my dad about this before my SPM. He wants me to do A Levels because its recognized worldwide so my chance will be high to enter my dream university to do my degree. But, its your life. Dont you think you should do whatever you want rather than listen to your dad? Obviously I felt that way too. But he is right. And now I am having second thoughts about my career. So it is better to do my pre university first. 

Relationships. It is hard when you are the only one who is trying to make it work. Why can't people be considerate for once?

Haih honestly that is all I can think of right now. MU vs Bayern soon!

Things Got Out Of Hand

Can people in this world do me a favour? Lend me some time. I really really need extra time. Now i just found out what 'Time Is Gold' really meant. The inner ignoramus of me is unleashed. You know what i've been thinking these days? One word, sushi. Since i got really sick, i was forced to stay in my room the whole week. I wasnt allowed to go anywhere, even to school. My eyes were really bad (still is, but its getting better so thank you Lord). But as you know how i've always been, i went to school last Wednesday and got kicked out by everyone, literally. Everyone thought i was high on drugs, which cracked me up because i made up a really stupid story. I went out with Wiz Khalifa and things were out of control, and believe it or not someone actually believed my story as he doesnt know who Wiz Khalifa is. And i really need to go out tomorrow to satisfy my cravings. But then again, here i am thinking i dont want my friends' eyes to get infected as well.

Its almost 1 in the morning, should i listen to the music or read my book or find good reads on the internet since i almost finished reading my book or watch movies or stu-die. Why can't i do all of it at the same time? Maybe i should just shut my eyes, that's a better idea.